And suddenly, drowning my demons in drugs wasn’t enough anymore.
I often feel like nothing is going to get better. I still live with my parents working a minimum wage job. I don’t have any ambitions in my life. I have no clue where I want to go. Romantically I’ve always been too afraid to peruse anything. One of my greatest fears in rejection. I can’t deal with that. There’s a girl at work, I think we get along great. I’ve hung out with her with a couple other people outside of work. I don’t know how she feels about me, or of trying to ask out a co worker is a good idea in the first place. In my mind, I feel like if I can get a steady girlfriend, everything else will fall into place. A sense of want from the opposite sex. But, I’m too scared to ask her. The fallout would be traumatic. I don’t want to lose this job. It’s my only source of income that I’ve been using to save up and find a place of my own. No one knows my history of self harm. I don’t want to let anyone close to me that I don’t trust. At the same time I want someone who cares about me, making it easier to share my story and possibly get help.
Any kind of advice would be great.